Chapter 14 - Mars Fanfic

Chapter 14

(now visit http://30stmvotefanfic.ucoz.com/ - we have a site JUST for our Mars Fanfics!)

The next day, Jared, Muna, Anna & Sophie went to the super-market. Shannon was still recovering from his hangover.
Jared: Of course we will not follow your list, Sophie…
Jared grabbed a big basket.
Sophie: My list rules! What do you say girls?
Muna & Anna: YES!!
Jared: I’d like you to stay alive until you’re 30. Now, let’s go, we have some shopping to do.
Jared walked away while the girls folded their arms and stood still. After some minutes, Jared realized he wasn’t being followed by the girls.
Jared: Aw right, so now we’re gonna play ‘Hide & seek’ in the super-market. How funny.
He didn’t get an answer. Jared continued speaking to himself.
Jared: Never mind, I’ll do the shopping on my own.
He was singing a tune while shopping. When he was almost done, he stumbled upon the girls…with full ‘unhealthy’ baskets.
Jared: No, I’m not giving you money to buy these.
Anna: Too bad our uncle gave us some money this morning.
Jared: Shannon would never agree with this shopping list, are you kidding me?
Muna: Well we told him that we’re going to the bookstore & we’d love to buy the new Harry Potter book cause Rowling has a signing today. In fact each one of us would like to buy it. So yeah he agreed.
Jared frowned.
Jared: No, you didn’t! He couldn’t actually buy that, the latest Harry Potter book was released…oh my God…the drunk Shannimal syndrome. YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT!
Muna: Right. Now let’s see who’s faster to make it to the cashiers!
The girls ran, followed by Jared. Unfortunately for the girls, Jared had practiced his jumping skills during the latest shows, so he jumped over some baby & shop trolleys to make it quick. And he did. He arrived first to the cashiers.
Jared shouted: BITE MY DUST! (Everyone turned around to look at him)
Sophie: The fact that you made it first to the cashier, doesn’t mean we will not buy our groceries. Okay, go on, you’re first on the line.
Jared: What do you mean? I won so you’re not….
Super-market assistant: Can you give me your things, sir? We’ve got some work to do.
Jared looked at the assistant.
Jared: Oh yeah sure, let me get my wallet.
Jared opened his wallet. He searched for dollars but he only found euros.
Jared: No way, I used my wallet yesterday, I had dollars in that wallet, what happ…
Anna started giggling.
Jared: OH NO YOU DIDN’T!
Muna, Sophie & Anna burst into tears from laughter.
Sophie: Please sir, step back, there are people waiting for you in the line.
Jared gave an awkward smile to the people who were waiting for him to leave.
Jared to the girls: I will kill you at home.
Jared to the assistant: Cancel the…you know…I don’t have my money so…you get it…well…
Super-market assistant: Yeah, right, we get it, now walk away.
Jared was watching the girls putting their groceries into the super-market bags when he saw that they had bought more than 20 candles.
Jared: What are all those candles for?
Anna: Aw didn’t we tell you? We will bring some friends tonight at home & call some spirits.
Jared smiled.
Jared: Ha, alright, anyone specific you’d like to have a convo with?
Muna: Kurt Cobain would be awesome.
Anna: Oh my God, do you think we can contact him?
Jared didn’t comment and he helped them with the groceries.
Sophie: So daddy, will you join our convention tonight?
Jared: Convention? Nah, I’m too old to play the witch. Go, have fun with your friends.
The girls & Jared arrived home to see Shannon drinking coffee.
Shannon: Oh my God, I’m finally….I think I’m on earth again.
Jared: Jeez, Shan, you gave money to the girls for a book which was released years ago.
Shannon: So what? Can’t they buy it?
Jared: They told you it was the premiere with author signing. Do you really think fucking Rowling would be nearby today? It would be all over the news!
Shannon: Dude seriously, do you think I would be able to think about ALL of that crap?
Jared agreed.
Muna: Dad, what should we cook for lunch today? Not anything heavy I suggest.
Jared: Why is that?
Muna: Because if we contact any spirit with anorexia, it might get pissed off!
Jared: Jesus Christ, what am I hearing….what do you have in mind for lunch?
Sophie: Don’t mean to turn you off guys or anything, but we only have bacon & eggs.
Anna: Let’s eat bacon & eggs with chocolate muffins!!
Jared: Wait a minute, I need to throw up.
Jared ran to the bathroom.
Anna: Uncle, I think our daddy is pregnant.
Shannon smiled.
Shannon: With your bacon & pepperoni baby?
Muna: Uncle, our daddy doesn’t eat meat.
Anna: Yes. Probably he’s having a veggie baby.
Shannon: Question. Are we really doing this conversation or is this a part of my drunk dreams?
Later that day, the girls invited two friends at home so they could start their plan.
Muna: Dad, we brought two friends with us, hope you don’t mind?
Jared: No, of course not. Get them here, I’d like to meet them.
Muna asked Claire & Ocha to come to the living room.
Ocha: Hello, mister Leto, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you!
Jared: Please, call me Jared. I am not that old! Do I look that old?
Clare: You definitely don’t.
Jared smiled and blushed.
Jared: And what’s your name?
Clare: My name is Claire. Nice meeting you…Jared!
Jared: Sophie, go get the girls something to drink and eat. You are being a horrible host so f….Clare, you brought a guitar! Are we singing?
Clare: Aaah…maybe. We intend to call spirits with musical education.
Anna clapped.
Anna: Dad join us pleaseeeeeeee.
Ocha: Yes you should, it’s gonna be so much fun!
At that point, Jared realized Ocha had brought a cat with her.
Jared: Ocha why did you bring your cat with you?
Ocha: Oh well, I thought that we should indicate to the spirits we are pet-friendly.
Muna: Ocha shhhh….they might be listening.
Ocha: No, they can’t be listening! We haven’t summoned them.
Jared: You are the one who will call the shots? With the summon and all?
Ocha: Oh yes!
Clare: You should join us, it’s harmless you know.
Jared: Ha, do you think I’m afraid? I’m not afraid of all these…spiritual…emm…
Jared stepped back.
Jared: …I’m really into the mood, that’s all.
Sophie: You’re always such a turn-off, the uncle & Tomo will join us!
Jared: No, they won’t! Tomo is at his home and your uncle should be out for cigarettes. (after some thinking) Oh my God, what time is it?
Clare: 8.30!
Jared: You’re kidding! He’s gone for an hour and he still had that hangover when he left, let me call him.
Jared called Shannon.
Shannon: Hey bro!
Jared: Dude, where are you? You’ve been gone for an hour and the girls here are telling me that you will join their ghost meeting.
Sophie: IT’S SPIRIT MEETING, JESUS DAD.
Jared whispered ‘Whatever’.
Shannon: Oh yeah, I’m definitely joining that one.
Jared: Where are you, dude? And why on earth would you join this…(Jared looked at Ocha and Clare)…peaceful and spiritual meeting?
Shannon: I’m on mrs Marple’s house, dude! She is not that bad, Jared, not at all.
Jared blinked twice.
Jared: WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MARPLE’S? The woman is evil!
Shannon: No, she is not evil, we are actually drinking some scotch now…oh my….
Jared: Where is she? Can you talk?
Shannon: She is in the bathroom…oh my God….Jared…now I see, she’s trying to get me drunk! You need to get me outta here.
Jared: Shit, Shannon! I’ll see what I can do, maybe if..
Shannon: I gotta go now. She is coming!
Shannon hung up.
Jared: Girls, do you mind if you postpone the ghost thing for a bit?
Muna: IT’S A SPIRIT THING! DON’T INSULT THEIR SOULS.
Jared: Alright, yeah this.
Anna: Only if you join us!
All together: AGREED.
Jared thought about it a bit.
Jared: Cool, okay you got me, I’ll join you.
Anna: HOORAY!
She hugged Jared.
Sophie: Hmm, Tomo should be on his way though…and why the hell…
Muna: SOPHIE!
Sophie? What?
Muna: THE SPIRITS! Those words you’re using! Ts ts ts.
Sophie got terrified and closed her mouth.
Sophie: Aw well…why is our uncle to mrs Marple’s?
Jared: Long story! I need your help now, we need to get him out of there.
Everyone thought about it for a while but none had an idea until Clare spoke.
Clare: I have an idea!
Muna: Shoot.
Claire: So, the girls have talked to me about this psychopath and they’ve also told me that she has a thing for you, Jared, so why don’t you…well…flirt with her? I’m afraid it is the only way to get into the house and get your brother.
Jared froze for some seconds.
Jared: HE FUCKING OWES ME IF I DO THAT. She is disgusting.
Anna: Come on dad, fight! For our uncle…Imagine what she could be doing to him now!
Jared: GIRLS, LET’S GO NOW.
Jared & the girls rushed themselves to Mrs Marple’s house.
Jared: So I just knock?
Clare: Yes! What else could you possibly do?
Jared: Alright, alright and then what?
Ocha: Is it the first time you hit on a woman, Jared?
Jared: No, it is the first time I hit on a monster.
Sophie: Dad, just pretend she is a supermodel and you will take her home later tonight.
Jared growled at the girls.
Jared: Will you blindfold me so I can make the ‘sexy fantasies’ thing easier?
Muna: DAD, we’re losing time, just knock the goddamn door!
Jared knocked the door and mrs Marple opened it.
Mrs Marple: My dear!
Marple tried to hug Jared but he told her he was sick so she shouldn’t be touching him.
Mrs Marple: Aw you care so much about me, don’t you?
Jared: Yeah, yes. That’s a fact. Where is my brother?
Mrs Marple: He is at the living room. We’re drinking whiskey for you.
Jared: For me? Oh you shouldn’t…
Anna whispered to Jared: Now dad, pray that you’ll live the next 5 years with her whiskey curse..
Ocha: Anna! Watch your mouth. The spirits!
Anna: Oops, damn, sorry yes.
Mrs Marple leaded them to the living room where Shannon was sitting there on his own.
Shannon: GUYS! YOU’RE HERE!!
Sophie: Uhm yes, now we should be leaving , shouldn’t we?
Clare: Yes, Tomo is probably already waiting.
Mrs Marple got furious.
Mrs Marple: You’re not going anywhere! I locked the doors.
All together: YOU DID WHAT?!
Mrs Marple: Jared, darling I should show you something. Wait a minute.
Mrs Marple headed to the bedroom.
Jared (quietly): Muna! The keys, find the keys!
Muna: Why me??
Jared: Cause you’re the one who always hides stuff from others, the last time you hid my boxers in the cookie jar. You can guess where she…
Mrs Marple entered the living room again. She was wearing a wedding dress.
Shannon gave the what-the-fuck look at Jared.
Jared: Happy to see you’re finally getting married. Which hot model fell in love with you?
Mrs Marple smiled and she stepped towards Jared.
Jared was stepping back.
Mrs Marple: You’re always such a gentleman, Jared! At first, I wondered why you set restraining order against me, but then I remembered you are the traditional type of man. You didn’t want to see me before the wedding, didn’t you?
Jared: WHAT?????!
Mrs Marple: I understand. I understand that all this time you wouldn’t be able to resist sneaking in my house and seeing me and my wedding dress, so that was the reason of the restraining order, wasn’t it?
Jared: WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN….
Mrs Marple: Oh hush. Today is the day then, huh? Finally, finally we will live our eternal love, away from these creepy daughters of yours…
Anna: DAD, SHE CALLED ME CREEPY!! TELL HER SOMETHING!!
Meanwhile Muna was searching the house for the keys but it was unable for her to find them.
Jared: GET OFF OF ME, GET OFF OF ME, BITCH!
Mrs Marple pushed Jared to the sofa and climbed on him.
Shannon stood up and tried to pull her from Jared but she and the wedding dress were too heavy. The girls also tried but mrs Marple was hitting them with her heels.
Clare: OUCH, OUCH!
¬¬Muna grabbed her phone and locked her self to the bathroom quickly and dialed Tomo’s phone number.
Tomo: Where the fuck are you, guys?
Muna: Tomo, you need to save us! We are at mrs Marple’s house and she has locked us in. She has put up a wedding dress and she is ready to marry dad!!
Tomo: What?! Did Jared say yes?
Muna: NOOOOOOO, NO! She is attacking him, you need to come and save us!
Tomo: Alright, I’m on my way!
Some minutes later, Tomo was outside of mrs Marple’s house. He was holding a golf club. He broke the front window of mrs Marple with this.
BAAAAAAAM.
Everyone turned around and stopped fighting against mrs Marple for a minute to see the broken window. Tomo invaded in the house.
Tomo: WHO CALLED THE CRAZY MOFO?!!! THIS IS WAR!
Jared: Oh thank GOD!
Mrs Marple: You’re not going anywhereeeeeeeeeee.
Mrs Marple grabbed Jared’s legs.
Jared: LET ME GO, CRAZY BITCH!
Tomo got Hairjet out of hit pocket and he spread it all over mrs Marple’s hair.
Mrs Marple began screaming.
Mrs Marple: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LOVELY HAIR, YOU SICK BASTARD!
Jared finally got a hold of himself and stood up. Shannon stood up too. The girls congratulated Tomo and Tomo hugged them.
Tomo: This one’s for you, wedding psycho! GET THE MOFOHAWK DISEASE UP YOUR ASS. Let’s go, guys!
Everyone stepped out of mrs Marple’s house.
Shannon: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT. MY ARMS!
Clare: What about my legs? This bitch hit me hard.
Ocha: I think we need to hurry. It’s 11 o’clock. If we summon the spirits after midnight….we might have unpleasant consequences.
Shannon: Oh right, about that….are we really gonna do this? There’s no need to!
Sophie: Uncle, don’t be a…you know. We’re doing it now! By the way, one question Tomo. How come you had the Hairjet with you? I thought you hated this thing.
Tomo: I wanted to experiment on Jared’s hair today, that’s all.
Jared looked at him.
Jared: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. MY HAIR !
Jared stroked his hair.
Clare: And hey Tomo, why did you bring a golf club with you? I mean that was way too COOL.
Tomo: Giiiiiiirl, some of the spirits might be the athletic type, what were you thinkin?

Chapter 13 - Mars Fanfic

Chapter 13

(now visit http://30stmvotefanfic.ucoz.com/ - we have a site JUST for our Mars Fanfics!)

Muna and Sophie were watching TV in the Leto mansion.
Muna: Wow it’s one of those days when I really can’t think of any good prank. And we’re watching the Kardashians for fuck’s sake, change that trash!
Sophie: You’re right, dammit. I do have an idea but it’s just way too classic, I’m sure even dad won’t fall for it.
Muna: Bring it on!
Sophie whispered the prank to Muna and Muna’s face shined.
Muna: HELL YEAH, classic but yet so awesome. I’m on it!
Muna ran to the kitchen and Sophie followed her.
Sophie: Have you found it?
Muna: Yes, it’s right here, here we have the soft fog film.
Sophie: Wicked! Let’s go upstairs. I’m gonna check out if daddy’s sleeping.
Muna: Alright, I’m going to the bathroom.
Sophie opened Jared’s door and saw him sleeping.
Sophie: Everything’s set with dad!
Sophie found Muna at the bathroom putting the fog film right under the toilet seat.
Muna: Oh my…this is gonna be so much fun! We should record this.
Sophie: Ew, Muna, no!
Muna laughed. "I think it’s ready. Do you think he’s gonna notice it?”
Sophie: Definitely not, you’ve seen dad’s face when he wakes up. The man will be half asleep. Let’s get outta here!
The girls went to the playroom which was next to Jared’s room and they waited for Jared to wake up.
After a while, Jared woke up and he went straight to the bathroom. The girls tried not to burst into tears from laughter. Suddenly Jared shouted.
Jared: Oh NO, FUCK FUCK, HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE….OH DAMN..GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRLS!
Muna: I think that’s us!
Sophie: I think that’s the point where we start to ruuuuuuuuun!
The girls ran and Jared chased them all over the house. He caught them after…3 minutes.
Jared: You’re not fast enough!
Jared grabbed Muna’s hand.
Jared: SOPHIE YOU TOO! Stop running.
Sophie: Please please please don’t ground me today, try tomorrow!
Jared: Why not today?
Sophie: Well I’m trying not to break my grounding record which was 4 days in a week. Today is Monday, so it’s a new week , so you can ground me again and start counting.
Jared: Wow, didn’t know I had grounded you 4 times in 1 week…BUT NOW YOU’RE DEFINITELY GROUNDED, WHAT THE FUCKERY DID YOU DO?!
Muna: Nice way to wake up…huh?
Muna winked.
Jared: I am not cleaning this up.
Sophie: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew how bad is it ?
Jared: Go check it out yourself. I am going to take a shower. Where is your sister?
Sophie: School.
Muna: Cinema.
They said it at the same time.
Muna: What the hell, Sophie, it’s Sunday today!
Sophie: What the hell, Muna, the movies don’t start at 10 a.m. in the morning!
Jared sighed.
Jared: Where is she?
The girls looked at each other.
Sophie: Alright I can’t hold it anymore, ANNA HAS A DAAAAAAAAAAATE!
Muna: Actually I think they’re gonna get laid, isn’t she going to his house?
Jared raised his eyebrows.
Jared: They’re gonna do….WHAT?!
Sophie: Oh come on, dad, relax, like you didn’t know that your daughters are…dating.
Jared: I knew that you are dating but oh my…YOU! (he pointed Muna) and…YOUUU…(he pointed Sophie & did a creepy face) are having sex?
Muna: Now this is getting uncomfortable.
Sophie: Yes, I guess we should just go. We’re invited at Tomo’s house.
Jared: To do what?
Muna: Aaah, dad, hello, some privacy. DUH.
Muna grabbed Sophie & left the house while Jared was left home alone.
He called Shannon.
Jared: Where are you?
Shannon: Uhm, well…I don’t really know.
Jared: What do you mean, what do you see around?
Shannon: Looks like I’m in a forest dude. No no actually…could this be Central Park? Yeah…it kinda looks like it.
Jared closed his eyes & sighed again.
Jared: Why do I have to clean everyone’s messes all the time? Stay where you are.
Jared drove all the way to Central Park & after some digging he found Shannon talking to a couple of ducks.
Shannon: Brotherrrrrrrr….I think I’m drunk.
Jared: Awesome. And I thought you were not. Let’s go!
Jared carried Shannon all the way to the car & when they got home, they found a message in the phone machine.
‘Hi dad, Sophie, Muna, uncle, or whoever has invaded in the Leto mansion, (in a slower tone) yes I do believe in aliens, this is Anna. I need to speak to someone as soon as possible, I forgot my keys so I’m heading to Tomo’s. Bye.’
Jared: What the hell was that?
Shannon: What the hell was what?
Jared: Alright, let me take you to your bed , I need to go to Tomo’s.
Shannon: Nooo nooo man, I got this party today…
Jared: Apparently the party was yesterday.
Shannon: NO IT’S TODAY!
Jared: Come on Shannon, you’re acting like a little kid. Let me…
Shannon pushed Jared away.
Shannon: I am supposed to go there and sweat sweat sweat dammit!
Jared: Last warning…if you behave and stop whining I will leave you my Blackberry.
Shannon opened his eyes wide.
Shannon: WITH your Twitter password?
Jared: Well…oh…alright sure.
Shannon: DEAL!
Jared left his Blackberry to Shannon and headed to Tomo’s house.
Half an hour later, Jared was at Tomo’s house.
Tomo: Uhh…eh…hi Jared.
Jared: Hey man, can I come in?
Tomo: I don’t think that’s the right time actually..
Jared: I just wanna take the girls & leave, they told me they’d be here. And Anna too!
Tomo: Really? Well they lied to you, they’re not.
At that moment, Anna started screaming.
Anna: I DON’T WANT ITTTTTT.
Jared gave Tomo an awkward look.
Tomo: Alright, you may come in but the girls didn’t want you here and I SWEAR I won’t be the one who will pay for this.
Jared walked into Tomo’s house and saw the girls at the living room.
Muna was playing with her Blackberry, Sophie was writing down something on a paper & Anna was crying.
Anna: NONE’S IS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?? Hellooooooo, you’re still my sisters, I have this serious problem & you’re just….Sophie are you making the weekly super-market list?
Sophie: Uhm yeah, cause none will?
Anna stood up.
Anna: ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I AM ABOUT TO DIE AND YOU ARE….Dad?
Anna took a look at Jared.
Jared: What the fuckery is going on? Muna, seriously, stop trying to beat my score in Angry Birds, this is just NOT going to happen.
Muna sticked her tongue out & left the Blackberry.
Anna sighed.
Anna: None is paying attention to me. I will just go die in a shit hole & none is going to look after me & my bags, aw my God, all my bags…Tomo can you have my bags please?
Tomo rolled his eyes.
Jared: Annie, what are you talking about? Come here.
Anna sat on Jared’s legs.
Jared: What’s wrong?
Sophie: Oh my….nothing is wrong with her, we’ve been here for over 2 hours & she still hasn’t told us anything. She’s just being melodramatic about life & how a bag can replace a pet.
Anna: BAGS ACTUALLY HAVE A HEART!
Sophie: Fuck this, I’m outta here.
Anna: Alright, I’m pregnant.
Jared started coughing and pushed Anna from his legs. Then he stood up.
Sophie & Muna were looking at Anna all surprised with their mouths open. So was Tomo.
Jared : YOU ARE….WHAT?!
Anna: Pregnant. In 9 months you’ll be a grandpa.
Jared: No, I’M NOT. I have pink hair, I can’t have a grandchild.
Anna: We’ll dye your hair. Maybe gray, what do you think?
Jared: ANNA! ANNA! Anna, wake up. Why are you, the teens, not even wearing condoms? Like seriously, it’s simple math. You get to wear it, all cleaned up, you get to skip it, all screwed up.
Muna: The only good thing is, that we just gave MTV an extra episode for Teen Mom. We are definitely gonna go and audition for Teen Mom, right? I love this!
Tomo: Muna…dude chill out.
Muna: You guys don’t even know how to have fun.
Sophie: JESUS CHRIST, ANNA, I’M NOT PREPARED TO BE AN AUNT!
Anna: UHHHHHH DO YOU THINK I’M PREPARED TO BE MOTHER?
Sophie: Oh come on, you’ve been the best mother of your dolls like always. I am so jealous of you.
Anna: (lower) You think so?
Anna smirked.
Sophie: Totally, bitch.
Tomo: DO YOU THINK I’M PREPARED TO BE A GRAND MOFO?
Anna: Is this a word…or?
Tomo gave her a hard look.
Anna swallowed.
Jared sat on the couch again.
Jared: So are you sure you’re pregnant, Anna?
Anna: I can feel it yes!
Jared shaked his head.
Jared: What do you mean ‘you can feel it’ ?
Anna: I can feel it inside me, dad. The baby!
Sophie: It will be most probably the pizza you nailed last night..
Jared: SOPHIE.
Sophie: Yeah, dad, repeat after me (with Anna’s voice) ‘I can feel it inside me. The baby!’ & voila you’re pregnant. You haven’t even had sex with Matt.
Anna: You’re wrong! We have today.
Jared covered his face with his hands & Tomo laughed.
Tomo: Anna, darling, are you sure you know the definition of sex?
Anna: Yeah, duh. Don’t make fun of me.
Tomo: I would really look forward to hearing your definition of sex.
Jared: I think I’ll throw up with the interpretation.
Anna: If you make out with someone, doesn’t it mean you have sex with him?
Jared bit his tongue.
Jared : Yes, you’re right. That’s what I told you when you were 6.
Anna: SO YOU LIED ABOUT IT! That’s why I didn’t know where the condoms fit in the whole story…
Tomo held his belly from the laughter & the girls joined him.
Jared: So you’re definitely not pregrant. Thank God…
Anna: But what about the baby inside me?
Jared: The peperoni & bacon baby inside you will soon leave you.
Anna: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jared: What?
Anna: YOU SAID SOON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jared: Oh shut up, I meant, yeah really soon, so technically by tomorrow…
Anna: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,I’M CURSED WITH A BABY NOW.
Jared: Anna, shut up, for fuck’s sake.
Anna: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anna opened the main door & started running in the streets.
Anna yelling: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I’M PREGNANT. NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I WILL BE PREGNANT FOREVER. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, PIZZA PREGNANT.
Muna: Someone buy her a bag or something, she’s gone nuts.
Tomo: I’m on it.
Sophie wrote it in the super-market list.
Jared: What are you writing down there?
Sophie: The super-market list.
Jared: Let me check it.
Sophie handed it to Jared.
SUPER-MARKET LIST:
Chocolate
More chocolate
Chocolate cookies
Chocolate muffins
Chocolate till we die
Croissants
Peanut Butter
Condoms for dad + uncle
More Peanut Butter
A lot of (black) sugar
Chocolate Milk
Bacon
Many eggs
More Bacon
Chocolate cake
Nutella (XL size)
Bag for Anna

Jared: You’re not actually going to buy all that. You will all die in the following days. (He then continued reading) Condoms? Shannon’s condoms? You’re not gonna buy any condoms!
Sophie: For just in case, dad.
Jared looked at Sophie.
Jared: I like the fact you have actually written ‘black sugar’ instead of the regular one.
Sophie: It hasn’t that fat.
And Jared laughed with all his heart.
Jared: Hahahahahahahha yeah, like you’re waiting from the black sugar to save you, with all that chocolate you got in there, hahahahahhahaha.
Muna: Emm dad…
Jared: Hahahahhaa…what?
Muna: I think you have a problem.
Muna was on Twitter with her Blackberry.
Jared: What kind of problem?
Muna: Did you give your password to the uncle or something?
Jared: Uh yes, he wouldn’t sleep otherwise.
Muna: Oh good, cause he’s been answering to people with your account & he hasn’t said it’s him and all. Hahahahahhahaa oh my God, a girl is asking him, well technically she asked you, "Are you an angel?” & he is like "YES,I’M JARED AND I FELL FROM THE SKY. MY BUTT IS STILL IN PAIN” Oh my God, I’m dying hahahahahaha.
Tomo & Sophie started laughing as well.
Jared: DAMMIT, first Sophie, now Shannon, everyone will think that I am bipolar! Not that I care but….WHAAAAAAAAAAT THE FUCK IS HE TWEETING!
Muna: OH SHIT….THIS! "Jared, is it true that you are the oldest vampire in the universe?” and Shannon answered "No it’s not, because that sparkling Edward shit bit me first.”
Jared grabbed his coat & ran all the way to his house.
He had to grab his Blackberry from Shannon’s hands.
He also had a big day tomorrow.
The super-market weekly visit.